How I Decide Which Magazines To Read

"SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)" (sammauri) 05/08/2014 at 01:28 • Filed to: None

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If I ever see anything along the lines of "a backup camera—which this long-slung coupelike looker desperately needs" in an article I will no longer support the magazine. Ohmahgerd no one knows how to park so back up cameras are absolutely necessary on anything marginally hard to see out of.

Shut up.

No they're not.

People parked the Lamborghini Countach and it has a toothpick sized cutout for a rear widow.

Next thing you know people will be freaking out if cars can't automatically park themselves or don't have that cool automatically speed-adjusting cruise control that BMW and Mercedes offer.

If you're readers can't park, they shouldn't be reading a car magazine.

To reiterate:

/End Rant

EDIT AND CONTEXT: I drove a 2004 GMC Yukon Denali XL for a few months, and had to parallel park it almost every day. No back up camera. Was it hard? Hell yeah. But I never hit anything but the curb on a few occasions. I feel like a Yukon Denali XL might be slightly harder to see out of than a Mercedes CLA, which is the car that quote is about. I haven't tested that theory, but I'm confident in it.

This post is actually because I am angry that someone at the goddamn body shop backed up into my goddamn car because "they didn't see it." Really? You didn't see a Jeep Wranger while backing up a goddamn Mercury Marauder? It's like twice as fucking tall! This quote was just something I saw that further aggravated me. If you can't park without relying on a backup camera, don't do it. UGH.

CRider > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 05/08/2014 at 01:39

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To be fair, people parked the Countach by getting the fuck out of it and pillars today are pretty thick.

D > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 05/08/2014 at 01:40

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is this gif from submarine or donnie darko... I can't remember

Your boy, BJR > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 05/08/2014 at 01:42

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BUT BACKUP CAMS, DAWG! Thin of how much the 288 GTO could have benefited from it!

If anyone dared ruin the pre-facelift 928's ass with a backup cam, I'd fuggin cut them, meng. Cut them deep…..until they bled the fuck out all over my beautiful tile floor in my freshly restyled kitchen.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > CRider 05/08/2014 at 01:49

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True. Perhaps that example is a bit ridiculous, so here's a better one.

I drove a 2004 GMC Yukon Denali XL for a few months, and had to parallel park it almost every day. No back up camera. Was it hard? Hell yeah. But I never hit anything but the curb on a few occasions. I feel like a Yukon Denali XL might be slightly harder to see out of than a Mercedes CLA, which is the car that quote is about. I haven't tested that theory, but I'm confident in it.

(This post is actually because I am angry that someone at the goddamn body shop backed up into my goddamn car because "they didn't see it." Really? You didn't see a Jeep Wranger while backing up a goddamn Mercury Marauder? It's like twice as fucking tall! This was just something I saw that further aggravated me. If you can't park without relying on a backup camera, don't do it. UGH)

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > D 05/08/2014 at 01:49

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Donnie Darko. I watched it again last night and it was the first thing I thought of. Ahaha

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > Your boy, BJR 05/08/2014 at 01:55

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To anyone who dared:

PS. Every single time you comment on anything, I like you more. Every time.

Your boy, BJR > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 05/08/2014 at 02:03

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Is it weird that I masturbated to this scene?

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > Your boy, BJR 05/08/2014 at 02:08

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davedave1111 > Your boy, BJR 05/08/2014 at 02:32

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If they hide the camera behind the number plate, and it flips up to reveal it, that's OK by me. Like the rockets on Bond's DB6...

Leadbull > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 05/08/2014 at 02:36

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You should probably quit reading Jalopnik, then...

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > Leadbull 05/08/2014 at 02:53

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I mostly stick to Oppo.

CRider > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 05/08/2014 at 03:22

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Well you have a point, but expecting the average person to know how to adjust their mirrors is asking a lot. I mean, we need instructions on how to do everything.

And that body shop just earned themselves some more business... on them!

spanfucker retire bitch > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 05/08/2014 at 07:00

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And just think of how much easier it would have been with a backup camera. Why do Jalops hate things that make your life easier?

You know how to park a huge fucking SUV with just mirrors. That's great. You know how to drive. Now just imagine your skill, amplified by being able to see to directly what's behind you (something that's normally impossible, because you know, you don't have X-ray vision) and now your task is just that much easier.

But no. Instead you'll bitch and whine about technology.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > spanfucker retire bitch 05/08/2014 at 12:10

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No, I don't hate backup cameras at all. I think they're an amazing idea and that they're very useful. I wish the Yukon had a backup camera. It would've made my life a lot easier. What I do hate is the idea that you don't need to know how to do something because we have technology to do that for you. Do you know how most of my friends with cars that have backup cameras park? By staring at the backup camera and nothing else. As a result, they can't park a car without a backup camera. Last year people texted me and asked me to helped park their cars at least a dozen times. Why? Because they were borrowing their dad's/mom's/brother's/whoever's car for the day and it didn't have a backup camera so they literally could not parallel park it. That is what I hate. In some cases, technology is not making people's lives easier but making people unable to live without a basically unnecessary gadget.

Also, I'm not the only one bitching and whining. 'Wah, this $30k entry level German sedan doesn't come with a backup camera so we're going to tell you that its basically a nice Civic and then tell you what you should buy instead of actually reviewing the car'
(Yes I understand this is by no means the only issue with the CLA, but the article I read spent 1/3 of the article telling you the car was shit without really explaining why and the other 2/3 of the article giving short reviews other cars that you should get instead of the CLA. More than a quarter of that 1/3 was complaining that you have to pay for options. I hope this magazine never reviews a Porsche.)